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law of attraction
January 2009 
Draining The Dating Pool
Posted on Mar 2nd, 2006
by 
Shelly
Shelly
It seems that with each conscious lifestyle choice that I make, I let a little more water out of the dating pool. Not that I am complaining. It is a process of elimination that is meant to happen.....chipping away at the stone to find the masterpiece so-to-speak. It's just that at this point, I’m barely wading in possibilities and as it continues there will hardly be enough left in the pool to get even a refreshing splash.
To start with, living with a slew of animals sends at least half the male population packing…. thinking me some kind of “Cat Lady” or something. Then there are those who love animals but believe they should “live outside where they belong”. Nnnnnan! Wrong answer. Deduct a few more potentials. Then I became a Vegan. This moved me into “difficult to eat with” category. Eat purely organic= “Granola”. Deduct about 20% more. And meditation…. that makes me “weird”. –10%. Practicing deliberate creation…. Well that’s just “way too out there.....maybe she's a witch?". Talks to animals: See “Cat Lady” description above. Believing in unconditional peace… makes me “Un-American”. The fact that I don’t pick one religion…. Satanic. I choose to surround myself with positive, upbeat people who understand The Law of Attraction. That gets me a “judgmental” or “elitist” rating. Don’t watch TV….”boring”. Prefer to read instead…”geeky”. Provide for myself….”feminist”. Love an assortment of things….”eclectic”. Would rather be outdoors than in and want to keep it raw….”environmentalist”. Refuse to use toxic chemicals in my house or on my body….”particular”. Can’t stand grumps….”snobby”. Play with horses….”obsessed”. Being intolerant of injustice…”demanding”. Philosophical=”Deep”. Having a fondness for health-conscious men= “shallow”. Won’t settle for less than the best….”picky”. Deduct another 17.95%. Love Zaadz…. “fluffy”. (no points deducted for that)
This leaves a drop in the pool of about .05% of the male population left for me to date. When you include the fact that they have to be approved by both my dog and my horse….. this leaves me thinking that I just might be single for the rest of my life. That’s OK though. Having high standards for myself and others isn’t a bad thing. It just makes me….”driven”. And the fact that I believe that in even in the tiniest amount of potential, I will find my Twin Flame….. that makes me “Faithful”. The guy that I finally get to share the rest of my life with?….. well.....he would be “Fortunate”. (wink)
To start with, living with a slew of animals sends at least half the male population packing…. thinking me some kind of “Cat Lady” or something. Then there are those who love animals but believe they should “live outside where they belong”. Nnnnnan! Wrong answer. Deduct a few more potentials. Then I became a Vegan. This moved me into “difficult to eat with” category. Eat purely organic= “Granola”. Deduct about 20% more. And meditation…. that makes me “weird”. –10%. Practicing deliberate creation…. Well that’s just “way too out there.....maybe she's a witch?". Talks to animals: See “Cat Lady” description above. Believing in unconditional peace… makes me “Un-American”. The fact that I don’t pick one religion…. Satanic. I choose to surround myself with positive, upbeat people who understand The Law of Attraction. That gets me a “judgmental” or “elitist” rating. Don’t watch TV….”boring”. Prefer to read instead…”geeky”. Provide for myself….”feminist”. Love an assortment of things….”eclectic”. Would rather be outdoors than in and want to keep it raw….”environmentalist”. Refuse to use toxic chemicals in my house or on my body….”particular”. Can’t stand grumps….”snobby”. Play with horses….”obsessed”. Being intolerant of injustice…”demanding”. Philosophical=”Deep”. Having a fondness for health-conscious men= “shallow”. Won’t settle for less than the best….”picky”. Deduct another 17.95%. Love Zaadz…. “fluffy”. (no points deducted for that)
This leaves a drop in the pool of about .05% of the male population left for me to date. When you include the fact that they have to be approved by both my dog and my horse….. this leaves me thinking that I just might be single for the rest of my life. That’s OK though. Having high standards for myself and others isn’t a bad thing. It just makes me….”driven”. And the fact that I believe that in even in the tiniest amount of potential, I will find my Twin Flame….. that makes me “Faithful”. The guy that I finally get to share the rest of my life with?….. well.....he would be “Fortunate”. (wink)
Access: Public
I love this post!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I can see similar issues in my experiences as well! As I see it… the Universe has me scheduled for more important tasks at this moment. All things Divine, at the appropriate time.
And I would definitely agree…. the guy that you finally get to share the rest of your life with… “Fortunate” - beyond measure.
Excellent blog..is dating like that? Your calculations have some truth to it ..the majority of higher conscious men is fewer than the average joe. But the question is Average joe your target? The world is crazy. I am quite puzzle why most of societal thinking is so ..humm..how do I put it nicely..shallow. But that is the way of the world. That is the level of consciousness it is at. That is why there are both fluffy, spiky people, bumpy, and the people in between.
Consciousness depends on our experiences, our present and past history of karma. Having standards is not an issue..it is finding someone who have the same goals and having the same level of understanding as oneself. When we have the same directions in thinking and goals..the relationship tends to be more long lasting.
I find that the most effective way for mate looking is Not looking. It is when there is no expectation that something happens because we are at our best being ourselves and our mental state is at neutral state. Meeting our “twin self” at this moment is the best time because neutral is balance with no filters, judgement and therefore clarity of wisdom is with us and we truely know ourselves and what we are looking for.
Somehow I knew you’d “feel” me Kel. Just ranting in my sarcastic kind of way.
I agree Yuri. I gave up looking long ago and just continue to “be” me trusting that it will all happen when it is time. I have recently had some of the above “lables” placed to which I just laughed at the judgement. The dating pool isn’t smaller because I eliminate a certain group, but more because they tend to pre-determine who I am by what I do. It’s all good though. True love is “unconditional”. And “no” on the Average Joe for me.
:-) I definitely like your idea of approaching the relationship with no expectations… being nuetral. You’re the third person to mention something like that. I think it’s time to pay attention. ;-)
Funny, I just had a conversation with a friend tonight about dating. Her advice (and she’s very wise) is to assume it’s already so. Assume I’m already connected to my partner and that it’s a given that he is coming into my life. In fact, he’s already on his way. It’s a great feeling b/c it relieves the pressure and lets me 100% enjoy the people (especially men) that I meet. I don’t have to worry if “he’s the one” because it’s all in the works anyway.
Not to say I do that every moment of every meeting but, hey, I’m working on it! Practice makes perfect. =)
Ya know, there is an old Turkish saying that goes like this…”“The one who was burned by the soup blows on the yogurt.” Our past experiences tend to color our mindset about relationships, and it’s a difficult perspective to alter as we become older. I would not say you sound jaded; in fact, you seem know yourself.
How awesome Shelly! A woman that knows herself. I didn’t even know they made girls like you anymore! You just rattled off tons of positive qualities about yourself (which incidently I wish every girl I dated had). By knowing youself, you know exactly what you don’t want from that 99.95%. Someone does appreciate the love you have for your animals, and respect your values, believes and lifestyle and by knowing what is most important to you, you allow yourself to be available to a man that will compliment you.
What is important is not to pigeonhole that .05% into the former category of boys that aren’t very open-minded. Just like you don’t want men to stereotype you, try not to let yourself be biased towards them. I’ve heard some say that half of being “faithful” is patience, so keep being you, and Love will sustain your being.
Incidently, a girl I dated a few years back taught me how to ride, only she taught me how to ride English and not Western, so apparently, I learned the “girly” way to ride…nonetheless, I’m so grateful for those late summer evenings learning how to use a hoofpick and how to brush a horse’s coat and mane. Things didn’t work out between her and I, but did I learn about myself…what you say about the smell of barns? Right on!!!
I so hear you Nancy my soul sista’ from another mista’. Excellent advice. I use that one too… when I remember. Duh.
Still, the sex with the “guy that’s on the way” is, well, you know….. just not the same. (wink) I decided to post this to poke fun at the silliness of the whole dating thing. I didn’t expect to get such sweet support from so many people. In truth, I am so busy right now I don’t know when I would find time to date if Mr. Wonderful showed up at my doorstep…. unless it was Matt McConaughey confessing his undying love for me. (wink)
And Mark {blushing} you sure know how to make a gal feel proud. It takes a pretty great guy to welcome a womans strength along with her sensuality. I promise I won’t blackball that final .05%. They are the treasures that I have been waiting to find all my life….. it just took me a little time to weed through the others. ;-)
…”“The one who was burned by the soup blows on the yogurt.” Love That!!!! I’m SO borrowing it.
And by the way. I have ridden western all my life and just learned to ride dressage last summer. Fear not, you ABSOLUTELY learned the hardest way to ride(english)….. one that causes you to become one with the horse….. not just pose yourself atop a big leather “couch” on their back. I heard in an intuitive horsemanship class last weekend that the Chinese warrior had to learn to ride their horses bareback and with horsehair as reigns…..to learn how to “become one” with their minds and their horses. Glad you got to experience the majesty of our friends the horse. And you’re the first person that “got” the reference to the smell of fresh shavings. Yay!
Weird. Why did I just call you Mark? Duh. Blonde moment. My apologies…..Madskier….. whom ever you are Mr. Mysterious.
:-)
Mark huh? Who is this Mark character? Is he bigger than me? :) It’s good to keep busy - goes with Yuri’s comment about it happening when you don’t expect it! But (and maybe this is too idealistic) I believe, that no matter how busy we are in life ,when Love grabs a hold of us, it doesn’t let go, and in your case, especially when that Love’s name is Matt McConaughey.
While I’m certain your riding skills are far superior to mine, I must say that I have a mean “post”, although it’s been a few years so my form is probably shot…Mr. Mysterious. I like that. If I ever become a professionial wrestler on the WWE, I’m gonna use that as my stage name. -S
Is there such thing as too idealistic??
hehe I’ve never heard someone say they have, “a mean post”. That’s funny. Maybe you’ll add a horse to your WWE act? :-)
Hey. I saw Matt McConaughey on Barbara Walters the other night. He sure was cute, but he came off with kind of a dud of a personality. I’m not quite sure he’d make it into your .05%. But definitely fun to look at! =)
Ya, I’m not so into guys that down tequilla at 8AM and smoke, but those are his “vices”, not mine. To each their own. I get his perspective, just don’t choose to live it. Still fun to see on the screen though. :-)
Hey gal…..I’m sending you lots of LOVE for this weekend. It will be PERFECT!!!
What if he drank tequila at 8 AM and smoked…as he rode on a horse?! He’d be like a modern-day John Wayne! Heck, I’D date him then! :P
HAHAHAHA!!! This post has turned out to be quite hilarious….
“Mr. Mark Mysterious” (aka “S”) has given us an inside look at the type of guy he’d date…. ~.^
I am gonna hafta put my two cents in on what I think is ideal (at least on an eyecandy factor)…. Ryan Reynolds… *heart* ^ *skips a beat*
Agreeing with the gestalt message here…. when Love finds you… you just *know* and it really makes an impact on life. I’ve experienced it…. and I regret nothing… even the “loss” of the relationship. Because it will come back around again…. in some way.
OMZ!!!!!! Excuse me while I have a cigarette. (wink)
OK so now that we’re voting on “ideal” I am resubmitting my vote. Michael Vartan(Alias) is way cuter than Matt….and he loves his dog Millie a bunch. Seems a who lot more humble too. And Patrick Dempsey…. of my ALL TIME fav. Grays Anatomy fame…..He’s that boy next door cute with a twist kinda guy….. but I think he is married. Ah heck, can I have them all? (wink) I’ll share with “S” if any of them resemble John Wayne. (double wink)
So the pic didn’t come through! Here’s the link for the gals in the room. Hubba hubba. http://static.flickr.com/52/107246797_1eee392a17_m.jpg
Boo hoo….. Shelly can’t play any more…. she has an appointment in 30 minutes. I really need to get my priorities straight……. this appointment thing has to go…… all day to Zaadz I say!
Love you guys! Thanks for the laugh today. (and the abs Kelly!)
I am sooooo stoked that the OH MY ZAAD (OMZ) is getting used!!!
okay…. wiping drool from keyboard…. will be dreaming of abs all day!
This is MMM chiming in (Mr. Mark Mysterious)
So if it’s the ideal we are now speaking of, let me offer my humble vote for some of the prettiest women in “mainstream” media. Aishwarya Rai is probably the stunning woman bestowed upon these eyes. See beow:
Diane Lane is simply classically beautiful (much like Grace Kelly in my opinion) and Selma Hayek comes close to Ms. Rai above. Oh, and I must give credit to Laetitia Casta. Thank goodness for all the catalogues that the girls I dated would receive.
They are no John Wayne, but wow! LOL!
-S***** :)
Damn, the pic didn’t post. Here is the link to a photo of Aishwarya Rai:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0706787/
Hi again, Mr. S. Mark Mysterious. Aishwarya is lovely. Just a naturally beautiful woman and so very unique. I couldn’t help but notice that you and she would make pretty babies together. I’ve always thought Selma was gorgeous…. even more so after I learned of her passion for life and her work. Beautiful inside and out. Hey I say you invite them over to Zaadz. Dare ya!
Kelly, why would you be suprised that others are using Oh My Zaad? It’s clever and cute… just like you. :-)
You guys are great! I have to admit, I hadn’t dated anyone for about 5 years before I got into my most recent realtiosnhip, which ended REALLY BADLY a few months ago. I’ve been feeling sort of bitter and jaded about the whole idea of dating lately, and was really ready to take another 5 year hiatus! Reading your musings has sort of chipped away at my bitter exterior and ~perhaps~ opened a space for me to consider venturing out into the dating scene again.
Thanks for the voyeristic pep talk!
Hi Korenna. Welcome to the latest episode of “Dump On Your Dating Partners” (JK) you little voyeur you. Sorry to hear about the dating flop. Those really suck, don’t they? But hey, how really fair is it to keep your fabulousness to yourself? And what more can we do but laugh about the messiness of life? (Oh yes, there is the crying thing…..but eventually dehydration sets in and you have to just laugh about that too.)
Happy dating!
Aishwarya and I would make beautiful babies together?! HAHA! I have a better chance of making babies with your horse! I appreciate the comment, but a guy like me and a girl like goin together is against some sort of universal Truth. Question: How did this blog morph into celebrities, making babies and voyuersim? Oh my!
Ok Shelly… where did you find that picture of me and my abs??
MSMM.. you stay away from my horse! Just because you have a mean *post* doesn’t make you a potential suitor. Besides, he doesn’t drink tequilla or smoke. He’s not you type. (wink)
Matthew…. I only needed to bribe Ayako for that photo a teeny bit. She gave in easily thinking it might help you get over your Betty Boop complex. Be-Doop.
BTW, Nancy…. I finally got around to watching the Tivo’d Barbara Walters special and I am with ya on the whole Matt thing. What a pompous poop he was.
“Universe listen up….I take back that request for Matt McC to drop by……. instead can you send Aishwarya so I can give her a little pep talk and help a Zaadzster brother out.”
YES! Please GOD! I just got back from the bar…what a crap lot of girls. WHY CAN’T GIRLS BE COOL!?
Ummmm….. maybe because you’re meeting them…….ummmm……. in BARS?
And……{throat clearing}… excuse me… but the girls in this post are QUITE cool…. THANK YOU.
:-)
It should be understood that when I make general comments about ladies, the ladies on this site are excluded. Duh!
Ahhhh, it is understood Grasshoppa. I was just poking fun, because I could. (wink)
What has happened to this place we call Zaadz? I’ve been away for a couple of days and Matthew is flashing his abs, Korenna’s turned into a voyeur, Kelly’s created new vernacular entries (OMZ) and drooling on keyboards, Mark - aka Mr. Mysterious - is lusting after the Duke, and Shelly is becoming the celebrity matchmaker?! ;-) How much fun are you guys having?!
Just to let you know, my top 3 Hollywood guys are Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen, and Clive Owen. Don’t know much about their personalities, but definitely pretty. =)
Shelly’s the celebrity matchmaker? !!! I’d like to meet…. uhm, wait… how short does my wishlist have to be? :P
This has been a hilariously fun post! Geesh Shelly… look what you started!!! Love it!
Well, in fact now that you mention it, I will be living in the Valley that the celebs all have their weekend retreats at. I am sure there is some unsuspecting way to slip them subliminal messages to have them call you Kelly. Possibly cutting your phone number in the organic hay crop might do it???
Glad we all have different tastes in men. It will make it easier when all go out, not having to rally over who gets who. Make it really easy since MSMM is into the John Wayne type and none of the rest of us are. (wink)
LOL…. puts a whole new spin on “crop circles” … crop messaging! :) You crack me up! Do you think they’d call me? :P
{giggles}
As much as I love the Duke, there is something about smoking a “butt” and then immediately kissing a woman without blowing out the smoke that is a bit of a turn-off for me…now Hugh Jackman on the other hand, he is like Eric Bana. They have the “Duke” mystique about them, but in an updated 21st century sort of way.
Goodness, this is what happens when I hang out in a blog dominated by women…I need an injection of unbridled machismo stat…someone get me a Ernest Hemmingway novel and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
On another note, did anyone notice Jennifer Garner on the Oscars last night? I normally don’t watch them, but it was on in the background, and WOW…she looks amazing!
OK, I need to stop before the last bit of my masculinity is stripped from me…
-Sotirios (Yes that is my real name. I consulted my spiritual advisor and she advised me to share it with the group, so you now have an unofficial “Greek God” in your ranks. Think Hephestius though. If you know your Greek mythology, you’ll know what I mean….)
“Greek God” …. {swoons}
A Greek God don’t need no stinkin’ Henningway and Wild Turkey. You are the definition of masculinity just by fault with that kinda name! The Duke ain’t got nothing on you. I am a bit worried about the Hephestius link though…. when you google it some pretty questionable stuff comes up. ??? Shame on you Sotirios!
We’ll know if the “crop writing” works soon enough. I gave a call out to a frined in SY that said she wouldn’t mind taking the John Deere for a spin. Bet you wish you hadn’t given me your cell number now, don’t ya? hehe
He was crippled and not particularly attractive, and Aphrodite cheated on him. The story of my dating life. Zaadz violinists cue up NOW!
LOL…. uh…… with you…. not at you. :-)
Ah but there is such Love in Hephestius’ story… after being thrown off of Mt. Olympus (by his own mother nonetheless), he was rescued and hid (kept safe) by Eurynome and Thetis (Achilles’ momma) and he did eventually return to Olympus to reclaim his rightful inheritance as a god. AND… he has this eternal gratitude to Eurynome and Thetis for their roles as mothers in his life when he was abandoned. Once Hera found out that he was still alive she brought him back up to Olympus and set up his livelihood with ample supply and a place in Olympus.
I love greek mythology!!! I have a strong affinity for Eurynome.
Well look at you Miss Zaadess yourself. Yet one more hidden treasure that is inside of you…. a wealth of Greek mytholody. Very cool.
See what happens when you share your true self Sotirios? Everyone else gets to also.
:-)
Well well, Kelly I am impressed! You are absolutely correct. One of the myths does say that. Way to extract the positive from the negative! I’m workin on it! A few more weeks on Zaadz and I’ll be like Shelly - manifesting my reality as I see it! Perhaps my guardian angels are akin to Eurynome and Thetis, eh?
Incidently, if anyone wants to see a picture I took of Mt. Olympus, check out my photos. My father was born and raised in the village of Litochoro which is nestled in the foothills of the mountain, and I travel there of often to visit family and friends. It truly is a magnificent place - it’s no wonder that the ancients revered it!
Group field trip to Mt. Olympus anyone? We have our own personal tour guide now. I’d love to experience the country through a natives eyes. With Nancy, Kelly, Myself and now Sotirios on board with the positive intentions, I am reletively certain we could be there by morning. :-)
By jove, I think Shelly is on to something! Nancy can hold the first annual Zaadz Olympian retreat in Litochoro! We will all attend explore the furthest reaches of our existential and epistimological understanding of the universe against the backdrop of the home of the Gods.
I am SO there! Where’s the signup sheet!?!?! Just to be near the original “thinktank” of the world… wow!
Gimme the keys…. “I’ll fly if you buy!” {giggles}
Even better…… how about we ALL fly and let someone else buy.
This is my intention….. that we all align on a good time to travel together…… that someone out there wants to pay for all the expences…. AND that someone even wants to pay us to go in order that we might give feedback about our experience…… Oh, AND….. that we all have a fabulous time, everything back home remains safe and thriving and that the Highest and Best of all involved be served.
Walla! Here I’m dating this….. 3/7/06…. just so we can all look back and laugh when we are sitting around the table sharing stories with all our new Greek friends.
P.S. My friend T and her husband Jason are down to go also. :-)
I can hardly wait! And I love the idea of building an ideal scene around our trip and sealing it with “This or something better for the highest good of all concerned!” Cuz let me tell ya, if the Universe wants to give us something better than we can imagine for ourselves, then I’m all for it!
You guys rock!
Okay, drawn out of the shadows again…. I’m becoming such a lurker! (Is that a word?) Count me in for travel: physical, astral or otherwise, I’m always up for it!
If Shelly’s taking orders, I’ll have an Eric Bana too. (What does it mean that Sotorios and I have the same taste in men?) Actually, if you could put Jason Schwartzman, Nicholas Cage, and Michael Stipe into that contraption Jeff Goldblum got caught in in “The Fly” and hand deliver me the end product I’d like that. No pressure, though!
You guys certainly are good for a laugh! Thanks!
Does this blog get the price for most comments? If not, well folks, we have more comments to write!!!